I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this boner is exhausting
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
