i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
