So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
