shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize