I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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