I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
