how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize