Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
