Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
