Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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