before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
