If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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