No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
sarcasm needs its own font
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
