do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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