Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize