I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Never joke about your clitoris.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
