if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We are all done wearing pants today
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
