I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
