You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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