A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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