Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Success! We fucked roommates!
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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