she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
