P.S. I can't hear my feet
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
