I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
