dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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