Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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