I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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