Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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