can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
