honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
