I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
