i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
