There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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