i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
