I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Come see our sink grown plant.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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