i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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