there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
