I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I met the friendliest cop last night
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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