Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
