Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
