can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
