His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
