if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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