it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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