Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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