She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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