Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
