Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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