Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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