i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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