would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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